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I always feel that I want to do any things that I want, but this body just always
end up not doing any things, it just feels like asking "why should I" and I just can't come out
with any answer, it really hurt my self.

You...
If you keep on end up to not doing any thing's that you feel you want to,
then I'll do it my self, you can put an blame on me later, but I don't do it for you,
I do it for my own, I'll fight for my own Existence, even no one want me to exist,
and even if I'm just an false existence that no right to exist.
At Last It's ME!!
I don't want to regret again for
some things I CAN DO BUT END UP NOT DOING IT!

I really feels want to die...
I've lost a lot of things...
I've thrown everything before my duty...
My body... my mind... my will...
I've gift it all...
I just want to end this...
There so much burden on my back just for my duty...
I want to run away...

I CAN KILL IT!
I CAN FORGET IT!
I CAN END IT!
I WANT TO GRANT A FREEDOM!

and yet...

I JUST WANT TO LIVE!

GOD!
If you really were exists!
I don't want any things, but just this one thing!
I want some one to CALL ME!!!
I have a tons of name, who I'm I??
and there's the time that I feels that there is some one that can CALL ME...
again, again, and again its CALLING ME even when I'm ignore it...
but just when I try to answer it and open up my eye's...
...
I can't find any one...
...
please GOD...
if you can grant my wish...
I just want another chance...
is that too much...

I want HER to CALL MY NAME, and I want to CALL HER NAME...
even that's just to say goodbye.
cause I LOVE HER, LOVE HER SO MUCH till is hurt...